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  Phil nodded and punched a few buttons on the register. He never got to watch Neo’s dancing. Always had to work. It was what paid the bills, but it sucked. That wasn’t why you got the job. Yeah, but it was a perk, being able to watch Neo from the safety of the bar where Neo wouldn’t notice and call him out. After all this time, Phil was still a coward. It was why they’d never settled this “thing” between them. That and the fact that Neo hated him.

  “He’s a hot dancer, isn’t he?” Ally took a sip of her soda.

  Tucker snorted. “I could dance like that.”

  She snorted. “Only in your dreams.”

  “Hey.”

  “Is for horses, so my dad said.”

  Phil tucked her ticket in front of her, interrupting their banter, and turned back to the stage. The song strains ended, and Neo gathered up his dollar bills from the floor where he’d tossed them when his hands were full. He always had a lot to collect. Yet again, Phil had missed most of Neo’s act.

  Phil turned back to see Ally laying down her money. “You didn’t answer me. About him being a hot dancer?”

  He still didn’t answer but couldn’t help a glance at the stage where Neo had finished collecting all his ones.

  “Do you two know each other?” She sat forward a little, arms coming toward the inside of the bar as though she was trying to shield their conversation from anyone else. Tucker was a nosy SOB from what Phil had seen. “I mean, you seem to watch him a lot.”

  Was it that obvious? Shit. Fuck. Damn. He’d tried to keep his attention at a minimum. “I…screwed up with Neo. We do know each other.”

  “Well, your attention is obvious.” She gave a nervous laugh. “If I could tell, anyone could. I’m usually oblivious. You ought to try talking to him. Work things out.”

  Phil closed his eyes. “He doesn’t want my explanation.”

  “Have you tried?”

  Phil made some noncommittal noise and moved on to another customer. If only people would leave him alone for two seconds. You never get to watch him dance. Why would tonight be any different? Course if you hadn’t screwed up, maybe he’d be dancing for you in private… Neo would never accept any explanations for what happened. Phil wasn’t even sure the reasons were good ones.

  Phil pinched the bridge of his nose before using both hands to make the mojito that the next customer ordered.

  Shoulda coulda woulda did nothing. Shit. The past was the past.

  * * * *

  Neo slipped on a pair of jeans and put all the tips on the small table in front of him. Time to count it up. He’d done well at his two solo dances and at the male revue at the end. About damn time. Tips had been lacking lately.

  He heard a hushed voice outside his door, which was the door to all the back rooms. Temples had a better staging area than most. He was the only one in the back right now. Otherwise they’d all be in this main dressing room. Only Rose got her own. Everyone else had to share. He leaned back in the chair trying to listen.

  Rose’s voice, which could never be mistaken for anyone else’s. She spoke in a whisper. “Phil…” Her voice lowered on the rest, so all Neo heard was “pssstlslsjkdjd.”

  Neo frowned and lowered his head in an attempt to hear what the hell the old bitch was talking about. He didn’t often think of Rose that way, though he had her number, but Phil’s name always set him on edge.

  A woman replied, but the voice was even fainter than Rose’s. He couldn’t make out any words.

  Why the hell were they talking about Phil? An even better question, why were they talking about that freak in front of his door?

  Neo got up and stalked to the door. He flung it open and arched a brow at the redhead who stood talking to Rose. He didn’t have on a shirt, and both sets of gazes moved down his bare chest. “Something you two want?” He sounded like a grumpy old man. Hard to believe he was the youngest of the three. He felt old some days, and today in particular.

  Rose’s smile was wide and disingenuous. “Ally here wanted to meet you. She’s a friend of mine. And a big fan of yours.”

  “I did…want to meet you.” Ally shot Rose a look that plainly said Rose was a liar. “It’s a pleasure. Devyn and I have known each other since college.” Rose motioned with her hand, and Ally continued. “Been a fan of yours several months now.”

  Neo had seen her before in the crowd and talking to Rose. He’d never been formally introduced to this friend of Rose’s. “Hello, Ally.” She’d better not become another groupie. He didn’t need any fag hags hanging around him. The last one who’d tried had been nothing but drama. And more drama Neo didn’t need. That still didn’t explain their discussion mentioning Phil, though. Whatever. “Nice to meet you.” He did try to sound friendly. After all, this was the boss’s friend and a potential fan, though he had his doubts as to her true interests.

  They stood in the hallway a few more seconds in total silence. Ally was the only one who looked nervous, shifting back and forth on her feet.

  “So, umm, I should get back to getting ready to leave.” Neo cleared his throat, finally giving in before Rose. Damn diva. He had money to count and a bed to find. Alone.

  Ally waved a hand. “Of course. Don’t let me hold you up.” She looked back at Rose as if to say, “What now?”

  He started to shut the door, when Rose said, “Neo.”

  And there it came. Whatever it was that she wanted. “Yes, Rose.” While he appreciated her giving him the chance to dance and make his rent, and he admired her for having made it in this town, she could be a real bitch. And a diva. She wasn’t anyone he wanted to be on the bad side of. Not to mention she was influential in the area. If she blacklisted you, your balls might as well be cut off. Because you’d never work again.

  “I’m doing a special male revue tomorrow night. Putting it together at the last minute. Are you in?”

  “Where is it?” There were some places it didn’t pay for him to dance. He’d not make his gas money back. He only danced here, considering who worked the bar, because the money was too good to turn down. Another gay bar across the river, the pickings were so lean, it didn’t make sense to even show up unless Neo had other motives. Like not seeing a certain bartender.

  “Here.”

  Phil’s day off at the bar. Even better. “I’m in. Anything special?” Sometimes there was a theme that required different attire.

  “Nope. Just do the dancing you do so well.” Rose air kissed. “Thanks, Neo, for being in. I appreciate it.”

  Neo air kissed back. “Thanks for inviting me, Rose.” It might help him do more than pay rent this month. Maybe he’d be able to pay his electricity bill on time. Money fluctuated like a bitch on her period for the shows he did.

  He shut the door behind him. Looked at the fading paint and dust on the floor. The building had seen better days. He was about to move away when the whispering resumed.

  “Are you sure he’s interested?” Rose’s voice.

  “Quite.” Ally’s voice.

  “Good.” The click of heels as Miss Diva walked away.

  Rose Winter was up to something. He patted his chin thoughtfully. Probably wasn’t a good thing for Neo. He’d have to be on his guard.

  Maybe she wants to fix you up.

  With Phil?

  Oh God, that would be a nightmare. Hell, no.

  Had he ever told anyone here of his past with Phil? He tried to think back to his conversations with Rose or anyone else.

  He’d told Rose about Phil and him when she was her alter ego, Devyn. He’d been drinking one night after a show, and Rose had changed back into Devyn already.

  Phil had been walking out of the club. “Bye, Rose. Bye…Neo.” He’d said the words quickly and almost seemed to run past them.

  “Bye, Phil.” Devyn had looked back and forth between Phil and Neo for a few seconds. “You two know each other? That’s the only time I’ve seen Phil stumble over his words. And run like a bat out of hell.”

  Neo had had a few mojitos in
him by this time. He was feeling warm and fuzzy—maybe only fuzzy. So he’d thought, fuck it, and told the truth. “Sort of.”

  “Oh?”

  “We had a ‘thing’ about five years ago.”

  “Really? I wasn’t even sure Phil was gay.”

  “Oh, yeah. Bastard spent months chatting me up, and then when he finally did me, he left me in the morning.” His voice had been raw and jaded. “Didn’t even say good-bye.”

  “Bastard.” Devyn had shaken his head. “Had a few of those myself. Before I met the man.”

  “You’re lucky.” Neo had laughed with a bitter undertone. “To have your man. Sad thing is, up until he walked out, I was considering dating Phil. And I don’t date.” He threw back another mojito. Bastard.

  No other man had ever walked out on Neo. Ever. Usually they came flocking back to dip in seconds.

  He’d been whammed, bammed, and thank-you sirred. Left in the fucking bed all by himself.

  He rubbed a hand across his face. He had contemplated their future after sex that steamy night. And thought he might try Phil for a while.

  Which had made the disappearance all the more galling. He, Neo von Brade, had thought about hanging on to a guy for more than three seconds, and that guy had booked it the other way.

  Wasn’t fair.

  At least Rose/Devyn knew about the event. So maybe it wouldn’t be a blind date setup. He still couldn’t believe Phil had come to work where he danced. They’d hardly spoken since Phil had taken the job. Phil had given him some sultry glances. Which Neo had promptly ignored.

  Whatever Rose’s plan, it better not include Phil. Or Neo would go diva all over her ass.

  * * * *

  Phil collected another glass from the bar for cleanup later as he stifled a yawn. It had been a long day.

  “Philip,” someone cooed behind him.

  He turned quickly to find Rose Winter, still in full drag regalia, standing at the bar. He nodded. “Hello, Rose. What can I get you?”

  “It’s been a bitch of a day. I’d love an appletini. You make the absolute best ones.” She settled on a bar stool. “Damn, these things aren’t wide enough for my ass.”

  He made the drink and set it on the bar in front of Rose. “Here you go.” He expected her to take the drink into the back.

  Instead, she picked it up and took a sip. “Like I said, best damn appletini in town. Hands down.”

  Phil nodded, looking down at the bar. This was bizarre. Rose was nice but never this complimentary, and she never sat at the bar to have a drink. Was he getting fired or something? Surely the bar’s owners would do that, though everyone said that Rose Winter ran the place. And it was true. He and Rose had never hung out together. Not like this.

  “So, Phil.”

  He looked up to meet the drag queen’s eyes. She wore huge fake purple eyelashes to go with the purple number she’d done a Prince song to. “Yes?”

  “Sunday is your day off, right?” She took another sip from her drink.

  “Only one I have.”

  Rose clicked her tongue. “You’re such a hardworking man. Too bad you’re off on Sunday, though.”

  Phil cocked his head to the side. “Why would that be?”

  “I’m doing a super male revue. A real showstopper of an act. It’s going to be huge. Only my best dancers will be there.”

  Phil swallowed as he searched her face. What was she getting at? What did she know? Neo was one of her most popular dancers. Probably because some of them didn’t take it seriously like a business, and Neo always did. If she was doing some special show, he’d probably be there. “You looking for me to work?” He wasn’t scheduled, and though she might run a lot, she didn’t set the schedules. The other bartender, Brad, always worked Sundays.

  “Oh, no.” Another sip of her apple drink. He could smell it on her breath when she talked. “Not hardly going to ask you to come to work on your day off. That would be…criminal.”

  He didn’t reply, though he looked at her. She was going somewhere with this line of talk that he wasn’t yet following.

  “But I’ve seen your…ah…interest in my show.” She picked up her glass and swirled around the liquid. “One particular part of iiiit.” She drew out the last word.

  His heart pounded. Maybe his hand shook a little. He’d tried not to show anyone his interest in Neo. It would lead to too many questions that he wasn’t ready to answer. “Oh?”

  “Yeah. And I can assure you…Sunday’s going to be hotter than any other show I’ve done. It’s gonna be smoking. And that particular part of iiiit? The one you watch. Even hotter.”

  He swallowed. Neo was hot no matter what he did. If she was saying he was going to be hotter this Sunday than ever before, that was something else. “Huh.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

  “Tell you what, Phil. I’m going to do something for you. I like you.” She saluted him with a glass. “You do make the best drinks in town.” She sat up straighter. “And I must be drunker than I thought, because I keep repeating that.”

  “What are you going to do?” Rose taking an interest in him could be good or bad.

  She pulled out a card. Phil wasn’t even sure where it came from or if he wanted to know. On it was Free Admission Winter’s Sunday Solstice. She flipped it over to him. “It’s for a free entrance to the club. You won’t have to pay cover. And it’s free drinks all afternoon and evening with that card.”

  He picked up the card, the smooth cardstock cool against his fingers. Free cover wasn’t much, but free drinks, that must have cost Rose a pretty penny from the owner. Drinks were where the bar owners made money. But sure as shit, it read as Rose had suggested it had. Even if Neo were not dancing, this would be a draw for anyone.

  “So can I count on you to come?” She waggled her eyebrows at him. She wasn’t being coy. She hardly ever was.

  “It is my only day away from this place.” He looked over and saw Neo standing near the front.

  Neo saw him watching and scowled before sauntering out the door. He looked…yummy as always. He’d worn tight black jeans and a black tank top that showed off his muscular arms.

  Phil hardened as he always did when he saw Neo. How long had he been working here? Three months? He would have thought he would have gotten used to this by now, but he never seemed to adjust to seeing Neo. He always reacted the same way. With desire.

  Because you still want him.

  But he’d messed that up the way he’d messed up a lot of things five years ago. There were no do-overs no matter how much Phil wished for one.

  “I know you probably don’t want to see this place on your day off. I know I don’t.” Rose leaned in close to whisper as though she was conspiring. “But this show will be well worth your while. I can guarantee that.” She looked around as though checking for people listening. “Neo will look good enough to eat.”

  Neo always did. “I guess I’ll come.” He was always complaining to himself about how he never got to see Neo dance. This was the perfect opportunity to see the man in action without having to serve up drinks the entire time.

  “And, Phil?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Explanations go a long way toward building second chances.” Rose blew him a kiss and almost tripped getting to her feet. “I’ve got to get out of these heels.”

  Carl was suddenly right there. He planted a kiss on Rose’s lips that would have made a sailor blush. “I’ll help.”

  Phil watched them walk back toward Rose’s dressing room. Carl and Rose/Devyn had a relationship that anyone would envy, even straight people. Phil had found himself on the side of that emotion more than once, watching them. They looked out for each other and always had each other’s backs. Not to mention, they were so happy and horny that it was sickening to watch at times.

  Did explanations help? He knew he’d screwed up with Neo. He’d been young and stupid, not knowing what he wanted. It was only months later that he’d realized what he’d done. While there had bee
n other partners in the last year—even one lasting three months—none had the impact on him that Neo had had. Maybe it was the old attraction toward whatever couldn’t be had, but Phil didn’t think that was it. Why did Neo haunt his thoughts? Maybe it was time he faced down that demon from his past and put it to rights.

  He fingered the card from Rose before he slipped it in his pocket next to his wallet. Guess Sunday would still be a day off but one spent at his crappy bar.

  Second chances. Who knew?

  Chapter Four

  Neo touched his toes as he limbered up before he danced. Stretched his arms out to the side and did a windmill.

  “Well, don’t take off,” someone behind him said, sounding amused.

  He turned to see Rose standing in the doorway to his shared makeshift dressing room. She wore a long black silk dress that plunged low in the front. “Hi, Rose.” She always checked in on the dancers before the show started. She’d seen him doing this a million times. “I won’t. Just getting ready.” He bent to touch his toes again.

  “Neo. I want you to be sexy. To dance with whatever happens out there.” Rose’s tone turned brusque.

  A lecture. He’d never done one unprofessional thing. He straightened up, and he could feel his spine bristle. “I’ve never not been sexy out there.” With the little outfit he’d been told to wear, he could probably walk out there with a phone book on his head and still get catcalls.

  “I know. Keep dancing, no matter what.” She turned to walk away and then turned back to face him. “And Neo?”

  What now? “Yeah?” She was apparently getting a little too high on her power trip if she thought she could lecture him.

  “Sometimes there are explanations for things. Things that didn’t make sense to us but made sense to the person who did them. Listening goes a long way.” With that, holding the bottom of her gown up in her hands, she exited.

  What the hell had she meant by that?

  He stared after her. She was up to something, and he was sure he wasn’t going to like this, whatever it was.