Winter's Gamble Read online

  Dancing had helped to clear his mind. He’d finally collapsed in a puddle as the hip-hop strains had rocked around him.

  A shower was probably in order after the heavy dancing he’d done before he talked to Phil anyway. It had felt nice to do some ballet moves again, not something he got to experience in Rose’s show.

  Right or wrong, he wanted to see where things would go with Phil. But he didn’t want to lead a man in love on. Was that fair to Phil? They’d need to talk everything over. Neo wouldn’t guarantee anything, only that he’d try. He felt more affection for Phil than he had for anyone else. Perhaps the fondness would develop if Neo let it. The parts of him trying to point out details that made it seem like he was already in love with Phil were being squashed by Neo’s denial.

  He got out of the car, surprisingly achy from the physical activity. He moved slowly toward his apartment.

  The front door was open.

  Many things went through Neo’s mind. He’d trusted Phil in his place. Surely the man hadn’t left the door wide open to Neo’s entire life. Please tell me I didn’t get robbed. Again.

  He sprinted up the steps and came in to find Gideon, his landlord, sitting in a chair in the living room.

  “Gideon?” That was puzzling. “Did you get the sink fixed?” It was the only reason that he could think of for the man being there. The sink had been leaking awhile, and Gideon had said he’d run by and fix it one day.

  Gideon got to his feet, a bit unsteadily. “I did, queer boy. I also found out some stuff ’bout you.” He folded his arms across his chest. The anger brimming from him was tangible.

  Oh shit. He’d never told Gideon he was gay or what he did for living. After all, that had no bearing on his paying rent. “Oh?”

  “You strip for a living. In one of dem fag clubs,” Gideon snarled. “I want you out my place. You got two days. Get you and your gay stuff out o’here.”

  What in the hell? Neo sputtered and tried to calm himself. “Two days? You can’t do that.”

  “Oh I can. And I will. That rental contract you done signed? It has a morals clause. And I’m ’voking it.” Gideon shook papers that he picked up off the arm of the chair. “Went home to get it after I fixed your sink. Read it to make sure.”

  Neo remembered something vaguely about morals being mentioned. He couldn’t remember exactly. It had been a great deal on rent. He hadn’t paid a lot of attention to the lease. Perhaps he should have instead of looking for cheap. Where the hell was he supposed to go? He opened his mouth to ask but Gideon probably didn’t care, so he redirected the question. “How did you find this out? About me.”

  “A concerned citizen told me. Told me I might want to be more careful about who I rented to.” Gideon walked for the door. “Don’t even think about not being out of o’here. I will put your stuff to the curb. Two days.” He slammed the door behind him.

  Homophobia at its worst.

  Neo could hardly breathe. He had to be out and find a place to live in two days. Concerned citizen, his ass. Who would have done such a lowdown dirty thing? How could…?

  Phil.

  Phil had been there.

  Noooo.

  There was no way he could be the concerned citizen. Why would he do something like that?

  Payback. You left him this time.

  But I explained it in the note. And what I did was nothing compared to what he did.

  It also puts you in need of a residence.

  Which Phil could probably supply. It would make Neo need Phil. In a way he hadn’t before.

  He wouldn’t do that. Surely he wouldn’t blow apart Neo’s whole life just to make himself the hero. Would he?

  There was only way to find out.

  Neo slammed the door as Gideon had and stalked out to find some answers to some hard questions.

  Chapter Ten

  The knock was loud and rapid-fire like a machine gun. Phil got up from his couch and walked to open it.

  His shoulders sagged when he saw his brother, Michael. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted it to be Neo. He’d been hoping to hear from him all morning, but so far, no news. “Hey, Mike.” He moved aside to let him in.

  “Don’t be so happy to see me.” Mike didn’t look as if he were joking, though. He looked serious. Way too serious. He walked in and turned to face Phil. “Philip.”

  He was Philip and not Phil. That didn’t sound good combined with Michael’s expression. It was how he’d always known he was in trouble with his mom. And when the middle name was used… “What’s up, Mike?” He moved toward the couch and motioned for Mike to sit in the chair.

  “You and I need to talk.”

  He’d had a feeling it was something like that. The last time they’d had to talk, it hadn’t gone well. That had been when he’d found out his mother was sick and probably dying. “Oh?”

  “You know I don’t have any objections to your lifestyle. It’s different, but it’s what you want.” Mike spread out his arms, palms up in the air as though he was offering them up in supplication. “So I deal with it.”

  Phil bit his tongue. His lifestyle wasn’t something that Mike needed to deal with. It was who Phil was. All he said was, “Okay.” But his body stiffened, and he felt as though he was on the defensive.

  “But there are others who object. Mightily. I didn’t realize where you worked until…recently. And that you’ve…started seeing men again.”

  “I’m not going to be a eunuch, Mike. Part of me coming out to you was to tell you who I was and get started on my life. My life is who I am.” Who had told Mike where Phil worked? He didn’t ask the question now, but he would later. First, he needed to figure out where this was going.

  “I know. I know that. You put you on hold when Mom was sick. I get that.” Mike looked around the room to anywhere but Phil. He didn’t seem to want to meet his eyes. “But I have a problem.”

  “And what’s that?” Phil put his arms on his knees and squeezed. He wasn’t going to like whatever Mike was going to say. Surely his brother wouldn’t ask him to put his life on hold again?

  “I’ve been urged to run for city councilman.” Mike beamed proudly. He’d worked hard at being a lawyer, and Phil had often wondered if politics would come calling. “And this morning I put my name into the hat.”

  “Good for you.” Phil meant it. He’d always been proud of his brother’s success. Until he thought about it a moment. Considering what Mike had started talking about, this change of subject made no sense, unless… “Congrats.”

  “Except having a brother who is homosexual and working at a club where gay men frequent and stripping happens nightly isn’t good. That’s bad for a campaign. Especially for the party that I’m aligned with. I didn’t realize all those things about you when I put in my nomination.”

  And there it came. “And what do you want me to do about that?” His voice came out much sharper than he’d intended.

  Mike chuckled, but there was no merriment in it. It was wry and bitter. “I can’t have those things in my family and expect to run on the platform with the party I’m in with. It won’t work.” Now he did meet Phil’s eyes head-on. He looked sad but determined.

  Phil’s heart started to beat faster. “And I ask again, what am I supposed to do about that?” How could he go through this again? How could Mike be asking what he was about to ask?

  “Lay low.”

  “What?” Phil hardly heard Mike, as he went quiet as though someone might be listening. He couldn’t believe this was happening again at the same time he’d gotten things straight with Neo. In the year since he’d been out, he could count on one hand the number of times Michael had asked anything of him. What was it about Neo that brought out Phil’s family? Maybe because a relationship with Neo was more serious than anything else Phil had ever done.

  “Lay low. Like you did with Mom. Quit your job. You can come to work for the campaign. It’s only for a little while. I promise.”

  “‘Only a little while.’
What happens when you’re elected? Because it surely can’t come out then. And if I’ve worked on your campaign and it does come out, you’ll be sunk.” Phil’s hands tightened on his knees to the point it was hurting. He backed off. His throat constricted. “I can’t change who I am.” I don’t want to change who I am. Don’t ask me. But it was too late. Mike already was.

  “You lay low, it won’t come out. Like it never did with Mom. Down the road, it will be safer for you to have what you want. But I need you to put your lifestyle on hold a bit. For me. For my campaign.” Mike straightened in his chair. “You don’t do that, I can forget the whole campaign. Roberta says…”

  Roberta.

  Who had been talking to Neo’s landlord.

  “She told you who I was dating. Where I worked.” Phil’s voice sounded flat. He had no idea how to respond to any of this. Only maybe he could start connecting the dots with Roberta’s involvement.

  Mike nodded. “Yeah. She had a long talk with me this afternoon. She told me what we needed to do about you. She knew you’d see reason and help out your brother. Like you did with Mom. We’re family, after all.”

  Phil’s heart continued to pound. He could barely hear over the drum beats in his ears. “So how long? I mean how long do I lay low?”

  “A few months. Two years tops.” Mike looked excited. “I knew you’d understand. I told Roberta you were family.”

  A few months. Two years tops. That was a lifetime. He’d already been on hold for that time while his mom had been sick. And that had lasted so much longer than anyone would have predicted. This one will too. Because after this campaign, he’ll be elected. And then you can’t shame him. Then will come another campaign for a different position. And each time they will ask you to put off being who you are.

  There was blatant homophobia like the people who would as soon kill all the fags as look at them. But at least that was outright and truthful. This was concealed and deceitful. And it hurt so much more. Would have been better for Mike to tell him to go to hell for his homosexual tendencies when he’d first come out than to pretend to accept him and do this.

  “I thought you’d accepted who I was.” Did his voice have to sound so pleading? But this was his brother. Family. Odd how it only seemed to swing Mike’s way when it counted and never Phil’s.

  “I did! I do! I…can’t have a gay brother for the campaign.” Mike moved forward in his chair. “Surely you understand my predicament.”

  “If you accepted who I was, you wouldn’t ask me to cover up who I am.” To live a lie. Mike already had asked once. That was probably why it was so easy now.

  “It’s only for a bit, Bro. And it’s to help me out.”

  “What would you do if I came to you, if I said I was about to run a campaign and it would hurt me to have a straight, married brother? Would you lay low?”

  “That wouldn’t happen.” Mike waved his hand, dismissing the scenario. “Let’s be realistic.”

  “I am being, Mike.” The catch in his voice made him clear his throat. He’d thought he’d had at least this part of the family on his side. To find out differently, well, he felt as though he’d been kicked in the stomach. “What would you do?”

  “I…well, Roberta and I are married. We’ve made a commitment to each other. And she’s—”

  “The guy I’m seeing—it could go places. Serious places.” Phil looked up into Mike’s smooth face. “It could get that committed.” Or maybe not, but he didn’t intend to tell his brother of their problems, not with the scenario he was illustrating and trying to make his brother see.

  “You and this stripper?” Mike sounded incredulous. “I mean he’s a stripper. You’re committed?”

  Phil rubbed his face with his hand. “He’s a dancer, not a stripper. And his name is Neo. And if it works out, I could see it being as committed as you and Roberta.”

  Mike made a noise of disbelief in the back of his throat. “I highly doubt that, Phil. He’s a stripper from what Roberta said. And”—he shook his head—“I’m your family, Phil. Your brother. Your blood. Shouldn’t I mean more to you than some butt-fucking exotic dancer? Shouldn’t I matter more than an easy lay?”

  Phil wanted to stick his fingers in his ears and start saying “Lalalalalalalalalalala.” He couldn’t believe he was hearing this. “So you’d not put your life on the back burner for me. From what you said. But I’m supposed to for you. After I already did that once for Mom.”

  “Like I said, asking me wouldn’t happen. And besides, Roberta and I are normal in the eyes of society.” His eyes widened. “Not that you’re not normal. I mean, well, you aren’t, but you know what I mean?” Mike moved closer. “This is coming out wrong. You know what I’m asking you. And you did already do this once for Mom. What’s the big deal about doing it again?”

  “The big deal is I lose out. I lose Neo. I lose who I am. I lied about who I was for a long time. It’s felt good to finally be who I am. And you want to take that away from me.” Phil got to his feet. He swayed a little on shaky legs.

  “It’s only a little while.”

  “Like it was with Mom?” He’d never wanted her to die, but he had wanted to be freed from the lie he was living.

  “That was a little while. In the grand scheme of things.” Mike didn’t get up, instead leaned back in the chair so that it squeaked. “In life, that was no time.”

  “It didn’t feel like no time to me.” Phil’s voice was bitter. It had felt like it had lasted forever.

  “It was. Can’t you do this for me, Bro?”

  “No. I can’t.” Now it was Phil’s turn for his voice to stay quiet. “I can’t do this, Mike. Don’t ask.”

  “I am asking.” Mike sounded shocked that he wasn’t considering this line of reasoning. “You’re going to turn away from your own brother? All for a stripper?”

  “Dancer. And I can’t do this. I won’t. I won’t put me on hold so you can get elected. You’ll have to deal with having a gay brother.”

  Mike’s mouth tightened into a hard line. “You can’t even do this for me. For your own flesh and blood.”

  Phil shook his head.

  “A piece of ass is worth more than me to you.”

  The hair on the back of Phil’s neck bristled. “Neo isn’t a piece of ass. Not to me.” He blew out a breath. “Maybe you better go.”

  “Maybe I should.” Mike got up and stalked for the door. “You’re turning your back on your family.”

  “Actually by asking, you turned your back on me. And I’m not. I’m being who I am.” Phil moved toward Mike. “If you can’t accept that, I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, well”—Mike swung open the door—“may your piece of ass fuck you over like you fucked me.”

  Neo stood on the front porch. He looked mad and then confused as Mike brushed by him.

  Mike didn’t even nod to Neo, just dashed for his car and sped away.

  Phil rubbed his forehead. Great. Prior to his brother’s visit, he’d wanted to see Neo. Now he only wanted to go hide in his bedroom. Neo was probably coming over to break it off after thinking about their relationship. This day couldn’t get any better. He braced himself for the inevitable.

  NEO STOOD ON the stoop outside Phil’s apartment. He thumbed toward the angry guy stalking toward his car. “What was that about?”

  Phil looked tired and on the defensive. “Nothing.” He wouldn’t meet Neo’s eyes and seemed almost smaller in stature than he had last night.

  “Didn’t look like nothing…” Was the man a former lover of Phil’s? And why did that make Neo want to go put his arms around Phil and make a claim? He folded his fingers into a fist. First, they had things to work out. Then Neo could make his claim.

  “It was. It’s not important. Drop it.” Phil’s tone grew even testier. “Coming in or standing outside?”

  “In.” Neo walked through the door that Phil held open. Phil slammed it behind them, rattling the walls.

  Someone was pissed off.

&nb
sp; Which made two of them. Neo focused on why he’d come there, not on whatever was happening between Phil and the anonymous man. If Phil wanted to tell him, he would. He tried not to feel chafed that Phil wasn’t opening up right away. “What the hell did you do at my apartment?”

  Phil blinked a minute. “Huh?” He cocked his head to the side as though thinking about it but finding no context. He seemed genuinely surprised by the question.

  “Don’t huh me.” Neo began to pace. This was serious to him. “My landlord was waiting for me when I got home. He’s kicking me out because of some morals clause in my rental contract. Because I’m gay and a stripper.”

  Phil rubbed his face and looked as though he was processing everything. “He’s kicking you out?”

  “Yeah.” Neo stopped in front of Phil. “Two days. I have two days to find somewhere else to go.” Which was a laugh. It would take him at least a week to find another comparable apartment, which would probably be a lot more money. Two days gave him barely enough time to pack, much less look for a place to live. It sucked donkey balls.

  “You can move in with me.” Phil watched as Neo began to pace again. “Just until you find something else.”

  So that was the deal. It had seemed a little too coincidental that Phil was at his apartment and then everything went to hell. “Oh hell, no. You didn’t.” Neo was going to kill him, then kill him again.

  Phil looked even more confused and like he was having trouble following what was going on. “Huh?” he said again with as much shock as the first time.

  Maybe that was because Neo seemed to be the only one with a script. The only one invested in the conversation. Whatever the man who’d been there had done to Phil, it must have been a doozy. But that wasn’t Neo’s problem. This situation was Neo’s problem, and he intended to get to the bottom of it and work it out. “You told my landlord about me. Just so I’d have nowhere to go, so you step in and play chivalrous knight. Of all the lowdown dirty tricks, that takes the cake.”

  Phil’s features hardened causing deep lines to form in his face. “What the hell are you talking about, Neo?” Finally an emotion displayed toward him, not a leftover from the earlier situation.